Nothing Like Being Mistaken As Pregnant On Your Birthday

Thank you for all of the birthday wishes that came through the comments, emails and calls. I wish I could report that I had a stellar day, but that wouldn’t be true.

The day started out crappy when I found myself playing the Molly Ringwald character in “Sixteen Candles” and Mark playing her family. Yes, I had to remind him that it was my birthday as he was walking out the door for work…’Are you even going to wish me a Happy Birthday?’ That has to be in the top 5 (or maybe top 10) marriage no-nos.

In his defense, this damn trial of his has taken him over. It’s all he talks about, and according to him, it’s all he dreams about lately too. He has been completely pre-occupied, though that still doesn’t completely excuse forgetting your wife’s birthday. Mark did come home with one of those cute singing cards and promised to take me somewhere nice as soon as the trial is over. The card said something about being “hotter than ever” (a total lie) and it sang “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash which is a bit of an inside joke between us.

So, my day didn’t start off too hot. It got worse.

After my self-indulgent 2-hour morning nap (after dropping the kiddos off at Miss Jennifer’s), I went up to Kohl’s to see about some new spring/summer clothes for the twins. In the process of walking back to the baby section, I had four salespersons bug me about signing up for the Kohl’s credit card. That alone is annoying because they no longer ask if they can help you; they just harrass you over 24% APR card. Umm, no thanks.

Anyway, so I get to the baby section and a middle aged saleswoman comes right up to me and immediately starts with the stupid credit card speech. I nicely say no thanks. She continues on and adds this…

You look like you are about to pop soon. A summer baby, right? Babies are so expensive. You are about to find that out! The more customers who sign up for the credit card, the more sales we can offer. You would be saving some good money.

She thought I was pregnant! Not just that, but VERY pregnant. She was standing behind me as I was looking at clothes hanging on the wall which was a good thing because I didn’t want her or anyone else to see the color drain from my face. I was already emotional because of what happened this morning with Mark, and now this. I immediately started to tear up. I just wanted out of there. This woman still kept yapping away, and I just opened my arms out to the side and dropped all of the merchandise I was holding to the floor. I walked off. That woman I’m sure was shocked and kept yelling “Ma’am, Ma’am” and I left the store.

When I got to the glass doors of the store entrance I saw a reflection of myself in the glass. I did not look pregnant. I turned to the side. I still did not look pregnant. There is no way someone could mistake me for being ready to pop.

Bitch.

Things were much better this evening when Mark got home, but it was still a blah birthday.

I still can’t believe that woman said that to me. I could halfway excuse it if it had been some teenaged girl, but this was a woman who looked like she had squeezed out one or five babes herself.

Okay, enough of that.

Miss Jennifer reported that the twins had a fussy day, and she thinks it has to do with teething. I agree. Kate is having a hard time with that new top tooth. Both kiddos have some kind of nasty sounding wet cough. Carson had a little mini tantrum when we got home because I wouldn’t let him dig in my purse. He is getting frustrated so easily nowadays. They both ate like little piglets at dinner…twice as much as normal.

Tomorrow is a new day. I plan on taking the little monsters out to the store and perhaps the park. 🙂

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6 Responses to “Nothing Like Being Mistaken As Pregnant On Your Birthday”


  1. 1 Loralee March 31, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    Good Lord.

    Rule number one: NEVER, EVER, EVER COMMENT ON A “PREGNANCY” UNLESS IT IS CONFIRMED FIRST BY THE PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU.

    Seriously. AND? I don’t think you look like you are ready to pop.

    What a wench.

    I am so sorry your birthday sucked so far. I have experience in that arena. I’m also hoping that this trial goes well for your husband and it is over soon.

    THEN, I hope he totally makes it up to you. 😉

    Happy birthday, toots. I think you’re gorgeous.

  2. 2 Chalna April 1, 2008 at 8:14 am

    I am sitting here thinking of all the horrible things that I can do to that woman. ABOUT TO POP!?!?!?!?! What the HELL!?!?! Unreal. You look wonderful and you don’t look IN THE LEAST BIT PREGNANT!!

  3. 3 Heather April 1, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    What the hell? Some people just have no idea what they’re saying and don’t think before they speak. So sorry you had such a bad day!

  4. 4 Sandi April 1, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    I completely agree with Loralee, people should not comment especially retail staff. There is no quicker way to piss off a customer than to insult them. My husband and I were going to buy a new car and the saleman asked me when I was due and I almost burst into tears, I was wearing a puffy jacket that I never wore again after that. I told the salesman that I wasn’t pregnant and told Kevin that we were leaving, he didn’t hear the comment. That guy missed out on his commission, hopefully he learned his lesson.

    I hope that Mark takes you somewhere nice after the trial.

  5. 5 Bridget April 2, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    I need a line for what to say back to these people who think you are pregnant. Do I say yes,I am having twins?

  6. 6 Mel October 28, 2010 at 7:19 am

    The exact same thing happened to me:it was my birthday, and I was on a business trip so thought I’d cheer myself up with a trip to the spa.
    I walked in, all happy, to book myself a treatment and the receptionist asked if I was pregnant. Fair enough, I thought, you have to check before a spa treatment… ‘No I’m not’ I trilled blithely.
    ‘Ohhh, I was sure you were when you walked in’ she continued, completely unnecessarily. You can imagine how I felt after that…


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